Thursday, June 08, 2006

The Last Rite

My father passed away on 5th June 2006 at 3.35 PM. I lost a person who was more of a friend to me than a dad. He was the only one with whom I shared everything. Everything = everything from studies to friends to girls to etc. etc. and yes he too was the same with me. He also openly discussed many issues that dads will find it difficult/impossible to discuss with their children. Natural disasters happen only for a few seconds and leave very little time for reaction. Nature
was (and is) a bit cruel on that part :((

Anyway, what has happened has happened and life has to continue. Therefore, in his memory and with his blessings, I will fulfill all his wishes and dreams. He made our life very comfortable. His planning was meticulous and we are always learning from him.

Three weeks before this shocking incident, I had this gut feeling that something bad was going to happen. On 24th June, the day of the last university exam, I was feeling sick. I wasn't able to revise the subject properly and this guy was the only one to whom I let the feeling creep out. Without turning back, I made a dash to the bus after the exam got over. Only on seeing my dad at home, I felt relieved. Sometimes, at nights, I have even touched his chest to feel the heart beat. PHEW!!

Right now, I'm alright. I have let out all the feelings and ready to take on the responsibilities and the challenges. One main reason for that is, I felt the heart beat of my dad stop right under my palm. Thank God I didn't cry at those very sensitive moments. My brother had good awareness to call 1066 (ambulance for emergency) immediately and telephone his friend and our cousin who were here within a few minutes. It is those few hours after death that matters when people are more important than anything else. The more people are near and the more the place of death is crowded, the more comfortable it is.

I want to describe those last few moments with dad, but it is difficult even to try and speak about it, leave alone write about it. I went to the bank today to deposit some money. My hands were shivering uncontrollably because where I saw my dad working a few days ago, that seat is empty now. That empty chair caused me to sweat. My cousin was with me and things eased out a little.

Tomorrow is the 5th day. The rituals are starting from tomorrow. Huge thanks to all the friends, relatives and unknown people who are supporting us.

Praying for the soul of my dad to rest in peace.